What’s Love Got to Do With Kids?

Everything!  I’ve long believed that children who are grounded in their parents’ unconditional love and guidance grow to become more successful and healthier adults.  It’s a deep-seated belief that I’ve practiced on my own children, requiring that they be present for family meals.  Since they aren’t quite “grown” yet (the photo below is of them when they were younger), the final results are still out, but both are honor students and neither have given me any serious cause for alarm.  How many mothers of teenagers can say that?

Now I’ve come across some scientific evidence to back up my contention. The Harvard Mastery of Stress Study, originally started in the 1950’s, was intended to study what factors could be predictive of stress.  Over 120 male Harvard undergraduates took part in the original study and follow ups have been made through the years.  In 1993, Dr. Linda Russek and Dr. Gary E. Schwartz studied 28 of the questions from the study (relating to family love) and met with a number of the men from the original study.  After much computer computation and analysis, they came to the conclusion that the men’s current physical health was more predictive from their relationship with their parents than from other predictors.  What this means?  Your children will be healthier if they perceive strong parental love.  Here’s a link to a write-up on this study:  Bill Stratton’s Article 

While I was considering this article, Parade Magazine arrived in my November 11, 2007 Sunday newspaper.  An article THE TRUTH ABOUT FAMILY DINNERS caught my eye.  The upshot of the article is that family meals lead to more successful relationships and how well they do in school.  The article sites a study from the University of Minnesota that reported students who ate regularly with their parents had better grades and were less depressed.  Another study was sited from Harvard showing that students who eat family meals are less likely to be overweight (by 15%).  An Emory University study indicates that parents who tell family stories during these family meals are helping their preteens with self-esteem and better relationships.  The reverse appears to be accurate as well — a Columbia University study shows that teens who have fewer family meals are more likely to smoke, drink and make friends with other kids who are sexually active.  The chairman and president of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse is quoted as saying, “Parental engagement is a critical weapon in the fight against substance abuse.  If I could wave a wand, I’d make everyone have family dinners.”

The upshot for me is strong parental love, guidance and sitting down with your kids at mealtime is extremely important.  Life’s busy, but your kids’ well being is more important!