Clever Divas

A few months ago I bemoaned the fact that I couldn’t find Lee Relaxed Riders anywhere in town…then I found some at WalMart of all place.  Yeah, well, I won’t be rushing out for anther pair anytime soon. I came home from a meeting a weekish or so ago and the dh says, “You’re hanging out.” Oooookkkkkk, since I’m wearing a Henley and a long-sleeved denim shirt at the time I couldn’t figure out what he was talking about. “No,” he says with that irritating tone of utter disgust he uses when I’m at my most blonde, “your a** is hanging out.”  And sure enough, the one side of the back pocket ripped off the jeans, taking the rear with it.

Niiiice. I hope the local writing chapter appreciates the fact that I like bright colored underwear—this time in neon pink. (sigh)  If the jean would have been super tight or old and worn I might understand it. Needless to say it was the first…and last…time I’ll be purchasing my jeans there. So, now it’s back to the wild hunt. Oh, joy.

Since it’s nice weather-wise here around the Great Lakes, I’ve been doing some (little) yard work. I decided that this year I was going to try growing something…anything…from seeds. I picked out 2 different kinds of morning glories. I mean how hard can they be to grow? For some odd reason I read the directions on the back of the envelope, only to discover these are considered hard-shell seeds. One suggestions was to “nick” each seed with a nail file.

Uh, have you seen the size of these seeds? We’d be talking tweezers, nail file and magnifying glass. Unfortunately, I haven’t perfected the art of 3-handed projects yet. I opted for the second suggestion—soak the seeds in water overnight. No prob, that I can do. Maybe. I mean, I put them in a cookie sheet on a coffee filter (in lieu of paper towels), poured in some water…and remembered them 3 days later. The little buggers had sprouted! Yeah, I planted them anyways, it’ll be interesting to see if they do anything.

During the winter I do crock-pot meals a lot…often…ok, if dinner isn’t from a box or a restaurant, it’s from the crock-pot. But during the summer it’s hard for me to find things that are A)easy B)cheap C)quick D)low in fat and E)crockable. A customer gave me a recipe that I’m going to try today. Take a roast, toss it in the crock, dump in 2 envelopes of taco seasoning and 1 can of beef broth. Crock for 8-10 hours. I’m sort of curious to see what this tastes like. The dh didn’t look too impressed, but there’s hot dogs in the freezer if this taco/roast thing doesn’t work.

I’m a third shift bat. That much I’ll admit freely. However, the rest of my house are those odd, frightening sunlight people. So, being mom and wife, I of course keep to my schedule while also keeping to theirs. Meaning sleep is a joke and eating a circus. We have dinner around 4 – 5 pm. For me that’s brunch, but whatever. Come about 3–4 am I’m starving, the blood sugar is crashing and the words on the computer monitor start to blur. Normally, I’d eat whatever was left over from dinner. A couple weeks ago I finally figured out that by gosh that’s stupid because I’ll be heading to bed between 5-6 on a totally full stomach. That could explain part of the massive weight gain this last year. The other parts I’m blaming on age and cortisone shots. So, I thought maybe some fresh fruit and veggies would be a better idea. It was for a couple days, then I ran out of oranges and only had veggies around—you know, cukes, celery, green peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes topped with a dash of vinegar and oil. They don’t sell enough pink pepto at the carryout to take care of a veggie overdose. Not bright.

After that I decided some cereal would be good. The dh’s idea of cereal is Captain Crunch. Uh, no thank you. Oatmeal is fine in the winter, but it’s not winter anymore. Special K with strawberries and a box of Life were my choices. To my shock, in 2 weeks time either the scale broke or I actually lost 7 pounds. I’m going to check again in another week. Keep your fingers crossed that it’s not a broken scale.

Until next time, take care and be well.

Denise Lynn