Clever Divas

It often seems we’re cornered by those who don’t like how we look, talk, think…well, you name it. We often call them our enemies, and they’ll happily return the favor. There’s nothing good about ‘em, and you can’t trust them at all, the whole lot. Why, the way they think is so inferior, there’s no way you or anyone can get your mind around them.

Well, here’s a way to get rid of them:

First, think about the things they call you and what you call them back. Those names are called “labels.” Get rid of them. It helps. Getting some objectivity works.

Then, find a couple of them who are not your family (yeah, some of them may be family, but remember, you have to practice objectivity first. Family is hard to be objective about. Do it once you get enough practice) and hang out with them every once in a while. Get to know his or her personality on a one-on-one basis. It’s how you get in close.

Do not engage in political talk. Do not try to convince them to be anything other than what they are. Ask questions. Look at what they’re frustrated with or afraid of in every day life. Find out whether their livelihoods are threatened, or have been threatened in the past. Go with them to their churches (or synagogues or mosques) and see what they are involved in, even if you don’t agree with any of it. Do not assume you know what they mean when they say something. Assume the best, and ask if you aren’t sure.

Do not assume you know better how to do their job, use their land, or raise their children. Be aware when you start thinking you do, and try not to give advice unless they ask.

Eat with them. Comfort them when they grieve. Celebrate with them when they experience a joy. Look for times when they love their families and their neighbors. Deliberately look for times when they welcome strangers to their homes and their places of worship. Cultivate patience.

After a while, they stop looking like your enemy and begin to look like human beings, even friends, which is a lot easier to relate to, isn’t it?