Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne?

And days of auld lang syne, my dear,
And days of auld lang syne.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne?

We twa hae run aboot the braes
And pu’d the gowans fine.
We’ve wandered mony a weary foot,
Sin’ auld lang syne.

Sin’ auld lang syne, my dear,
Sin’ auld lang syne,
We’ve wandered mony a weary foot,
Sin’ auld ang syne.

We twa hae sported i’ the burn,
From morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin’ auld lang syne.

Sin’ auld lang syne, my dear,
Sin’ auld lang syne.
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin’ auld lang syne.

And ther’s a hand, my trusty friend,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine;
We’ll tak’ a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak’ a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

A recurring media trend takes place when it comes to big stories. First comes the inciting incident that makes the headlines and gets on national news. Something surprising, maybe breathtaking, happens. It catches the public by surprise. We’re intrigued. We want to know more. This inciting accident most importantly focuses on the people in the story, the situation(s) they find themselves in, and the immediate actions they take. Think of Tiger Woods’ car accident and his wife smashing the window of the vehicle with a golf club.

Media coverage focuses on the who, what, where, and when at the start of the inciting incident.

The lesson for the writer? While a story may open showing a character in his ordinary world, an inciting incident soon occurs that often threatens to change the character’s life forever. The change is dramatic and irrevocable.

In a sensational story, once the media has exhausted all the initial details that have played out, the media continues the story by digging deeper. It starts focusing on other factors, other people, and tries to get to the heart of what’s really going on. In Tiger’s case, infidelity is what this story is really about. Further questions ensue. How did Tiger pull off his philandering? Who else was involved? We learn that more than a dozen women had been tied to Tiger.

As we live through this story, we want to know what’s going on inside the heads and hearts of those people most affected. What are they saying and doing that reflect what they’re thinking and feeling? We are “shown” this on TV. Elin and Tiger were holed up in their home. Possibly on the yacht. But we ask why? To work on their marriage? To protect the family? Or for Tiger to keep Elin from seeing what else the media uncovers? And when Elin finally surfaces, she isn’t wearing her wedding ring. Her action “shows” us what’s going on right now. Such behaviors in this story raise lots of questions. Lots of speculation. Lots of interest and curiosity.

But what really tugs at us most is the emotional pull of the story. What are these people going through emotionally? When it comes to matters of the heart, we’re sucked in every time. We care about these people and their relationships. We worry. We’re rooting for Elin. We’re upset with Tiger. We’re concerned about the children. Emotion is inherent in a sensational story. Tiger’s story plays on our emotions, that’s for sure.

We tend to look at their terrible trouble and wonder, “What if I was in the center of this scandal. How would I handle it?” And if a person didn’t deserve the terrible trouble, we find ourselves sympathetic to her (or him). Often people in a story like this “show” their emotions to us. We see the pain registered on their faces, in their eyes, in their body language, and in their language. We feel that pain and confusion. (Prince Charles and Lady Diana come to mind here.)

The lesson for the writer? Show don’t tell. And remember, it’s all about the emotional pull of the characters. Make a character sympathetic. One way to do this is to have your character suffer undeserved misfortune.

And once the news has us deeply mired in the story and can’t imagine how the events could play out any further, the media expands the story; deeper developments ensue.

Bigger, more lofty questions emerge. These questions make us look to ourselves. We are then forced to take a long hard look at underlying themes about our society, about our culture. About the human condition.

In Tiger’s case, the media will most likely focus on related issues and questions on a grander scale such as:

Is infidelity a secret of the golfing community or perhaps an open
secret? Can fame and fidelity co-exist? Or are people in the spotlight (politicians, celebrities, and sport heroes) “destined” for infidelity? Are they any more prone than people in the private sector? Why do people cheat? Are men and women different in that regard? Are men and women supposed to be in monogamous relationships at all? What can we learn from these issues? How can we apply it to our lives and possibly make the world a better place?

Sensational stories play themselves out over and over in the media. For example, the terrible incident at Columbine High School ultimately led to larger themes, issues, and questions. Are kids today not getting the guidance from parents the way they should? Should there be stricter gun control laws in America? How do we define heroism today? And lastly, can we make the world a better a place if society addresses the issue of bullying?

Another incident is the death of JonBenet Ramsey and the deeper questions it raised. Why did the death of a wealthy white girl make national headlines while the death a black girl of lesser means go virtually unnoticed? Do we still have a great divide between class and color? Should parents be dressing up toddlers like little adults in sexy pageant costumes with big hair and makeup? Is this exploitation? Are we putting too much pressure on children today to succeed at too young an age? Does our society put too much emphasis on beauty? Can we make the world a better place by teaching young girls and boys to put more value on other attributes, such as brains and kindness instead of looks?

The lesson for the writer? As your novel unfolds, so should your underlying theme rise to the surface as you near the end of your story. As a writer, you are passionate about what you have to say and so let it unfold in your story. Effortlessly. Inevitably. Surprisingly. The reader has taken this journey with you and wants a read that is thought-provoking, possibly life changing. It doesn’t mean the reader has to agree with you. So, when it comes to your theme, message, or moral argument, do you deliver?

When it comes to Tiger’s situation, we all have opinions on how we want the story to unfold. We may all want different endings to this morality tale. The important thing in any story is to be shown all sides so that we can come to our own conclusion about the human condition.

All this self reflection on deep meaningful themes occurs simply because Tiger Woods hit a tree in the middle of the night. Who knew that one inciting incident could lead to a really big story that has all the makings of a best-selling novel?

Kimberly Llewellyn
—————————————————–
The Quest for the Holy Veil – Berkley – March ‘07
‘06-’07 Bookstore Chocolate Tour
www.KimberlyLlewellyn.com – aka “the Wedding Writer”

–permission to forward–

It’s a time to walk safely. Here are some tips:

Choose the safest, most well lit, route; note availability of sidewalks, crossing guards, street lamps, and traffic lights.

Be alert; listening to a device like an ipod or chatting on the cell phone can be distracting. You might not hear the runaway car careening toward you, the ferocious dog, or the mugger.

Be visible and noticeable; wear bright clothing and hats, reflective sports clothing is even better.

Always walk with a buddy or a group.

Walk on the sidewalk. If you must walk along the roadway, walk on the side facing traffic.

Carry a flashlight. When vehicles approach, swing the flashlight side to side (vs. front to back which can cause a confusing dazzling-light effect to the driver), from your body then away. Do it the way air-men directing planes do with their flashing lights, indicating which way the plane is to go. If you swing side to side, you are indicating to the driver to “go around” you and the vehicle will instinctively move away from you. This will make the driver much more aware of your safety. A flashlight can also serve as a weapon against an attack from a person or animal. In daylight, consider carrying some form of other protection like mace or pepper spray.

In a parking lot (day or night), don’t walk too close behind a backing vehicle, assuming the driver can see you. He probably doesn’t. Avoid getting too close even if you think you can “make it” past before he fully backs up. Vehicles have been known to buck. People have been known to “pop the clutch” sending the vehicle flying. Sometimes, if a driver in reverse gets startled by your sudden presence in their rear window, he may panic, or get confused. In turn he could attempt to step (or stomp!) on the brake, but accidentally step on the gas pedal instead, running you down. It is better to just steer clear rather than assume someone sees you.

Lastly, for safety, it’s always a good idea to let someone know the route you’re taking so that they’ll know where to look for you it trouble does occur or if weather problems strike, like a sudden lightning storm.

So, stay safe and get walking!

Diva Kimbling
The Quest for the Holy Veil, Berkley Books

Do you have any additional walking safety tips? Please share them in the comments section!

Reading groups are a great way for people (yes, mostly women) to get together to share their love of reading. It’s a time to socialize, catch up, and discuss some really great books. Today, book clubs have expanded from mommy groups that talk about books during playdates, to genre book clubs, to discussing literary works during happy hour! The challenge is how to choose from all those great books out there!

But for now, enjoy the book club and reading group sites in this post. And if you’re not part of a group, you can often find one at your local bookstore or library. If you don’t have one in your area, start one today!

Book Club Girl
Genre Book Clubs
Readers Circle
Reading Group Choices
Reading Group Guides

So, won’t you share something special about your book club or reading group in the comments section?

For fun, many of those untruths are listed below. Some you might never heard of, but they will all give you good ideas to try on your own kids! And by all means, if you have any to add to the list, please put them in the comments section!

–Diva Kimberly

* * * * * * *

Lies…

The car won’t start until everyone has on a seat belt.
Don’t cross your eyes like that or they’ll stick.
Don’t make that face or it will stay that way.
I have eyes in the back of my head.
Don’t play with that frog; you’ll get warts.
Don’t pee in the pool; I’ve put a special chemical in it that turns red from the pee and everyone will know it was you.
We sent the dog to live on a farm. (For me as a kid, our dog was “sent to a farm in New Hampshire, with plenty of land so he could run, and roam, and be free!”)
It’s chicken.
If you eat that watermelon seed, it’ll grow in your stomach.
If you don’t eat your vegetables, no only will you not grow, you’ll start to shrink.
Don’t eat that raw hamburger (or hot dog) or you’ll get worms.
Finish the food on your plate; there are starving people in Africa.
Never drink straight from the can; people with warts pack those cans.
Are you telling the truth? Let me see your tongue…if it’s there’s a black line running down the middle of it, then it means you’re lying.
No, I did not put onions in the dinner; it’s your imagination. (Or mushrooms, peppers, etc.) Besides, you can’t even taste it.
Don’t do that or you’ll go blind.

You can do a search for services (haircut, massage, manicure) online or search for such services on Craigslist.org.

Often, the service is by appointment only and may not have the hours as convenient as a regular salon, so be flexible with your availability.

Appointments can fill quickly, so schedule your appointment well in advance.

Keep in mind that the location may not be as close and convenient as you’d like.

The services take place in a “clinical setting,” so don’t expect a lush environment.

Students take their time, so be patient. Enjoy being fussed over.

The students are supervised by instructors who are trained professionals, so rest easy.

Students aren’t perfect, however. Accidents happen. This is a trade off for the reduced rate service you are getting.

If a student makes a mistake or provides a service that you are not happy with, often the school will fix or improve the problem.

Ask if tipping is permitted. If it is, tipping is optional.

Dental Schools

Find local dental schools by state at the NIDCR website or call your state dental association for any additional schools.

Also, dentists often offer “free dental care” to give back to the community for those in need, or for children. Keep on the lookout for those services, although the lines/wait time can be long.

Universities like Tufts Dental School in Boston, MA attracts the top medical professionals in New England as they learn the newest dental techniques. Surrounded the best? Not a bad position to be in when getting your teeth worked on.

Massage

Search online for “massage therapy schools” in your state. For example, Allied Health Schools has their nationwide listing on their website. [Note: Allied is just one example of a school; the author does not confirm that all the schools listed offer free or reduced rate massages].

Hair, Makeup, Nails, Facial, Barber

Beauty schools like Aveda Institutes have schools nationwide that offer haircuts, manicures, etc. at reduced rates. Search online for “beauty schools” or “cosmetology schools” in your state to find a school offering the services you desire.

You can also search online for “free haircuts.” Various salons who want to give back to the community or who offer their staff training sessions provide free-haircuts during certain days/nights and times. They especially want to reach to the unemployed and those in need.

Ehow offers tips on finding a free haircut in major cities like New York, Chicago, and San Francisco.

If attending a school isn’t right for you, then there’s always the barter method. If you are skilled in a field or offer consultation in a particular field, keep in mind that you can always trade services, as well.

Do you have any other suggestions for getting services for free or at a reduced rate? Please share them in the comments section!

–Diva Kimberly Llewellyn

“It a phenomenon like I’ve never seen before…at least not outside the State of New Jersey, until now,” one Virginia restaurant manager stated, who asked to have his name withheld.

The reasons behind the table flipping are as diverse at the women themselves. A wife of a well known state politician explained the rationale behind her recent table-flipping behavior. “I was at this upscale Italian restaurant. After dinner, I ordered the tiramisu and coffee. They brought me Sweet-n-Low instead of Splenda. I was so mad, I flipped the table,” she says with a casual shrug. “Hey, I want it how I want it, you know?”

Martha, a librarian in Ohio, explained that her recent public, table-flipping temper tantrum was due to her too-quiet love life. “My husband and I have been going through a dry spell and I was sick of it. We were sitting at a high-top at the bar in Appleby’s and I was so frustrated by our love life, I heaved the table over and screamed at him that I needed it and needed it bad.”

Martha has since reported that the sex is much better now.

“It’s very freeing for a woman to flip a table,” one nationally renowned therapist asserted. “The release of aggression in such a manner allows for the true emotions to pour forth. When a woman flips a table, it’s a serious matter. It needs to be taken seriously because she needs to be taken seriously.”

But is table flipping a cry for help?

“Not necessarily,” the therapist goes on to say, “attempted suicide is a cry for help. Kleptomania is a cry for help. Table flipping is a physical manifestation of a woman who needs to be heard, whose needs need to be met. She’s taking a last stand. It’s a way for a woman to assert that she is a force to be reckoned with. Flipping a table says to the world that this woman can stick up for herself and refuses be victimized by society’s antiquated values on how a “real” or “classy” woman should behave.

But restaurant owners beg to differ. In these tough economic times, restaurants are barely keeping afloat and the added cost of replacing broken items, the liability of anyone getting hurt, and the insurance hikes due to table-flipping just might be last straw that sends these eateries into bankruptcy.

“Please, if these women don’t stop smashing our glasses and destroying our furniture, we will be forced to close our doors forever,” one steakhouse owner lamented. “Today, it’s table flipping. Tomorrow, it’s breaking the windows. Or smashing bottles of Cristal. Where will it end?”

If one is to understand this rash of behavior, one must trace it back to its roots. Table-flipping is not new. It’s a long held tradition that can be found in certain cultures, but it has since crossed into the mainstream. This crossover had its pivotal moment during an episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. During the season finale, “Theresa” hosted a dinner party at an exclusive restaurant. Tensions ran high. A confrontation between “Theresa” and “Danielle” escalated. “Theresa” reached her breaking point and flipped a table.

To viewers and fans alike, the scene was thrilling and scandalous, sending shock waves through America. The message? You can be classy and beautiful and rich, but you don’t have to take anyone’s crap. And millions of women across the country heard that message loud and clear.

As for the worried restaurant owners, we don’t see the end of table-flipping anytime soon…not as long as we have re-runs.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs on BravoTV. To view the final flipping episode, check your local listings, however, it is recommended that you watch the NJ season in its entirety first.

Bravo.tv.com

–Diva Kimberly Llewellyn
“The Quest for the Holy Veil” — A novel; Berkley Books
**************************************************
Have you ever flipped a table? Had an emotional outburst in a restaurant or other public place? Share you stories in the comments section now!

Boys who engage in athletic activity tend to be at a higher risk. Boys in sports that require a leaner form are at highest risk, although the requirement to “put on” weight/muscle can have its share of risk factors. Sports that may invoke disordered eating include (but aren’t limited to) bodybuilding, boxing, gymnastics, distance running, and wrestling.

What factors can cause this to happen to a boy in the first place?

Chubby as child, or even being at a “heavier” weight

Teased about his body

Become dissatisfied with his body or body type; a boy may believe that weight loss will improve his appearance and in turn, will make him feel better about himself

Active in a sport that prefers a leaner body

Feeling “too small; a boy develops an “Adonis” complex where he wants to “bulk up” through weight lifting, exercise, and the use dietary aids

Want to prevent a repeat of what his father went through with his body

Misinterpret an emotion for hunger, and overeat instead of dealing with what he is feeling, such as anger or depression

Puberty; during this at-risk time his body is changing

A major change in life can make a boy think that the only thing he can control is his eating

Why might this go undetected in boys?

A boy tends to eat large quantities of food, and that is expected in a “growing boy,” so binge eating might not be recognized.

Since the condition is often perceived as a “girl’s disease,” symptoms are overlooked in a boy.

The boy won’t discuss his body image issues or share what he’s going through with his disordered eating (and hides it) because of the shame factor; again, it’s thought to be a “girl’s disease.”

What can a person look for?

Vomiting; it may self induced as a means of weight control

Abuse-exercise, as a boy may engage in over-exercise

Sudden food restriction

Signs of dizziness or fatigue; the boy will probably not mention that he’s feeling these

Use of questionable supplements, steroids, or hormones. Be frank when discussing with your boy the dangers and/or consequences of using these items

Change in behavior: hyperactivity, spacey behavior, perfectionism, depression, mood changes, aggressiveness, and even violence—could signify use of steroids or questionable supplements

If I detect an eating disorder in my boy, what should I do?

Talk to your boy about these risks and explain it’s not a “girl’s disease” so he can open up about it.

Visit the doctor or pediatrician. Often, a heart-to-heart with a doctor is enough for the boy to understand the problem and be willing to rectify it.

Consider a bone mineral density test. If the boy has been experiencing disordered eating such as anorexia, his bone strength may be weakened and it is a good idea to get it tested. A sound weight training program can help build up compromised bone strength.

Consult with a counselor and a nutritionist; consider a program that addresses eating disorders.

For more information, visit an Eating Disorders web site  and check out a book on eating disorders such as, Parent’s Guide to Eating Disorders, The Supporting Self-Esteem, Healthy Eating, & Positive Body Image at Home by Marcia Herrin, Ed.D., M.P.H., R.D., Nancy Matsumoto

–DivaKimberly, The Quest for the Holy Veil, Berkley Books

Note: The author is not a doctor, nutritionist, nor an expert in eating disorders. This article is intended to bring to light a condition in boys that can be overlooked by family and friends. Consult your physician or pediatrician about questions you may have regarding eating disorders. Clever Divas always welcomes input, updates, or clarification from healthcare professionals or nutritionists in the comments section!

People who call you up, and when you answer the phone, they say, “I can’t talk…”
(Then why did you call me?)

People who call you up, talk your ear off for twenty minutes, and then say, “Let me go, I have to…”  (But I didn’t say anything!)

People who pull into the gym parking lot, park in the handicapped space at the front entrance, and then go inside to work out.

People who circle the gym parking lot for ten minutes to find a closer spot , on a sunny day, not even with rain as an excuse. [Blogger’s Note: Although I don’t see this at my new gym, I’ve witnessed this phenomenon for years at previous gyms and so it warranted a listing!]

J.C. Penney put out a recent coupon. The title screamed in huge letters, NO EXCLUSIONS! Take an extra 15% off sale- and regular-price purchases in stores only with this coupon! Then at the bottom of the coupon, it read Except Cosmetics and Fragrances. Discount does not apply to…and listed six other exclusions! So my friend and I went to the store. My friend went to the counter to purchase an item and presented the coupon. The cashier said, “Oh, this coupon is not good for clearance items.” (Okay, make that seven other exclusions!)

Nivea commercial advertising its anti-cellulite lotion. But it features teenage and college-age undernourished stick-figure models who haven’t had cellulite a day in their lives and probably never will. So, like, am I to believe that if I use the Nivea cream, I’ll morph into a 5-foot, 11-inch, twenty-year old model who doesn’t even know what the term “orange peel skin” even means?

There’s a radio ad boasting that a tutoring service will help your child learn better and get better grades in school. But the last sentence of the ad is soooo grammatically incorrect that I won’t be dashing off my kid anytime soon!

You’re zipping along a two-lane road. A driver passes you, cuts you off to get in front of you, and then slows down to go under the speed limit. And you are the only other vehicle on the road at the time. Sigh.

Of course, later, on that same two-lane road, there’s the speeder who flies up next to you, but then does the exact speed as you to either (a) hang out in your blind spot or (b) move up just enough to get ahead of you and force you to become in their blind spot. No lie, at 6:15 am,  on a virtually empty road, a driver did this to me FIVE times, no matter how much I slowed down or sped up. She just liked to snuggle dangerously.

Okay, I could go on and on about crazy driving scenarios, but I’ll save those for another time!

Got any scenarios you’ll never understand? Any cell phone scenarios? Store stories? Restaurant rants? Go on…add them to the comment section!

–Diva Kimbling

If your child experiences a change skin condition, make an appointment with the pediatrician. At the very least, the doctor can make a diagnosis or present a list of possible conditions. He or she can then treat the symptoms, making your child more comfortable, and then discuss prevention and follow-up. Oftentimes, you and the doctor need to work together to figure out the cause.

That’s right, you can play a large role in figuring out the source of your child’s flare up, especially if the condition is a reaction to the child’s environment. If you do notice a change in your child’s skin, keep note. Playing detective and keeping a journal on your child’s diet and activity can help find patterns and getting to the root of the problem.

In the meantime, the doctor can also give you a list of products (usually over the counter) to help lessen the discomfort of your child. For example, Acquafor Healing Treatment by Eucerin is a popular ointment for irritated skin.

Improvement can be as simple as switching to scent-free and dye-free clothing detergent and dryer sheets. Maybe even changing your child’s skin care products might help. Or changing their clothing to natural fibers, like cotton. Perhaps, in warmer weather, your little one is playing outdoors near vegetation that irritates the skin.

However, in some cases, changes in skin can be a symptom of a childhood disease such as Fifth Disease, which appears as reddened cheeks and a lacy rash on the skin.

While Fifth Disease isn’t life threatening, other kinds of skin conditions can be more problematic, including chicken pox, eczema, morphea/scleraderma. That’s why it’s good to see the pediatrician.

If there are changes in the skin, here is a question/checklist at Family Doctor to help you identify the culprit. Please note, this is not in lieu of a doctor’s visit.

You may find yourself needing support when learning about and/or managing your child’s skin condition, especially if it is chronic. For more information, check out the Children’s Skin Disease Foundation.

To keep your kiddie’s skin healthy, follow basics. Keep hands clean. Wash the body gently and carefully. Use gentle skin care products. And lather on plenty of sunscreen.

For more info, Kidshealth offers a terrific article for mom and dad to read, as well as for the kiddies.

Whenever you are at the pediatrician’s, usually there are posters on the wall that provide medical information regarding childhood illnesses and skin disease. Pay attention to them, when you can. It will help keep you informed to recognize future symptoms.

*No endorsements were paid to the author for the mention of any product.

–Diva Kimbling

The Quest for the Holy Veil, Berkley Books